Tuesday, August 30, 2005


I see myself heading the exact same route.

And it scares me to know that I’ve been on the same road before, passing the same pit stops, maneuvering the same corners. I keep on asking myself if I’ll ever learn.

Riding fast cars gives me the rush. I usually end up closing my eyes, covering my ears, shutting my mouth to escape the cold air but this time I told myself, I wouldn’t really care anymore. I’m having my fix and that’s what’s important.

I was scared. But you assured me.
I took my breath. You followed.
I inhaled. You exhaled.
I looked at the rear view mirror. You smiled.

I took my chance. You held my hand.

I see myself heading the same bumpy route but this time I’m not getting out of the car. I’ll stay put and I’ll fasten my seatbelt on to keep me safe.

You’re my driver, you can drive me fast but just be sure to follow the traffic rules.

My trust is onboard.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


2:45 am

The moribund moon
leaves a glance
as two lost souls try to find
the light that they will never own.

She shuts her eyes
from two different hearts
who dream to beat as one.

Never she says,
will your each other’s
breath be yours.
Never will the sun
see you together.

We steal each other’s time
As we devour each other’s flesh.

And when ecstasy bursts in the darkness of the night…

You try to own me…


And the moribund moon hides,
never to be seen again.

Monday, August 08, 2005


"Superheroes ain't got nothing on you right now. You're in the zone, and just about everything you touch will turn to platinum. Now make sure you use those powers for good, all right? " My horoscope for tomorrow from Astrology.com

I can't wait! Will tell you what happens later then.

Saturday, August 06, 2005


I was working, I was singing, I was head banging.

Last night will definitely go down in my book as one of my busiest ever. It’s been a long time since I had fun checking out the different music spots, and boy was I amazed on how the local music scene has really improved.

I was having a long day at IslaMusik (they recently got me to head the show). I had to finish my script and supervise the voice-over of our host Ala Paredes. The girl’s cool by the way. I had the impression before that she was a little bit too stiff on t.v. But in person, she’s really not, she just have to be prepped up properly.

I had to listen to a lot of classical music because we’re doing a full episode on the genre. For that, I had to watch videos of the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra to get the gist and feel of what I was writing.. It was a day of Vivaldi, Puccini, and the likes. I don’t even know these people but listening to them gave me the drive.

After working in the office, I went to the opening of my friend Marq's show. Kuh Ledesma and Zsazsa Padilla did their debut of Diva to Diva in Mandarin. The show kicked off with their own version of Vouge, and what an opening number it was. To label them GLAM will be an understatement. I always remember waking up Sunday afternoons hearing their voices on T.V. And believe me, seeing them in person and hearing them live, the experience is nowhere near it. These fortysomethings (sexy at their age mind you) definitely rocked all the chi-chi crowd in the venue.

I had to leave early to meet my friend Santi in Greenbelt. There was a launching of a new music spot there. Every Fridays, M CAFÉ is transformed to M HOUSE. House aficionados’ will have their fix with the metro’s top spinners.

Wanted to check it out but we had to go to Mayrics to check out the album launch of this new "sobrang makulit" band that I’m slowly becoming a groupie of. God, I haven’t stepped in Mayrics in ages. It was probably years since the last I visited the place. But the feel is still there, the rawness, the testosterone-filled, indie feel still resonates in the air.

When we got there, BAGETSOFONIC was still finishing their last set. The teenagers were having the time of their life playing to the equally responsive audience. Then a guy dressed up in a spiderman costume went onstage and started playing the drums. The hypnotic beat ushered in an uproar. KIKO MACHINE played their slowly-becoming hit TAKESHI’S CASTLE and the crowd love them. Everyone went wild. I, the ever-proper Paolo totally lost it and started banging my head to the beat. I was in trance.

Nope, my night didn’t end there. My friend Cindy called me to remind me that SPY will be performing in BIG SKY MIND. So off we went there to check out the final gig of the day. The place was crowded. At 2am people from the indie scene, yuppies, the artsies, the chi-chi crowd and (strangely enough) even people from the mainstream showbiz were dancing their night away. Sammy Asuncion of Pinikpikan fame was on command.

The crowd adored him, the folk rock meets jazz meets heavy rock was another creation of the genius that is Sammy. I was a fan of him even from before. I use to force my old group to check out Pinikpikan every time they had a gig years ago. Then, Sammy, out of the blue started singing a few lines of Carpenter’s “A Song For You”. The crowd didn’t know how to react. Was he joking? Was he tripping? Was this a part of an act? Then his group backed him up, what followed was probably the tripiest, the best cover version of any Carpenter song that I’ve heard. It was like listening to James Brown doing Carpenter and what an aural delight and sight to behold. Trully immaculate.

I was so tired, was so drunk, but I never had so much fun. This was truly a Friday night to remember. From Classical, to Pop, to Electronica, to Alternative Rock, to Folk Rock to Jazz, to Fusion, I had everything covered just in one night. Beat that.

Oh God, I love Filipino Music.

Friday, August 05, 2005


The boy stopped flying.

It was but
the most natural thing to do.

To stop.
To think.
To breathe.

And be human.

Thursday, August 04, 2005


For the last two days, I was really feeling down.

Something bad happened. It bothers me that people think so lowly of me just because my actions, my writings, my words were misread. It bothers me that they form bad judgment on me just because they assume too much, just because they put too much value on ego… just because they haven’t seen the bigger picture… just because they don’t know the real me.

I always have this mantra since I was young, that in fights I should always accept that it’s my fault and I should always be the one to be blamed. Not because I’m chicken, not because I don’t want to fight for what is right but because I hate trouble. I hate fights… so as much as possible the cold buck should always stop at me. Life’s too short. It’s futile to waste people’s energy on misunderstandings.

I told myself I’ll not be affected, I’m tougher than this and I’m strong and nothing can put me down. Then a great realization hit me… my good friend texted … “But you’re a human being…” That got me thinking. Of course… I’m entitled to feel bad. I’m no man of steel; I’m no superboy even though that’s what I want to believe. I’m entitled to get hurt. I’ve the capacity to feel all these emotions because, after all, I’m just but a human being. And by getting hurt and by feeling bad I’ll value more the joys that this great life can bring.

And so with this realization, I’ll slowly move on. When people say to me… “don’t worry it’s his lost”, I can’t really say it’s all true because in reality it’s also mine. It’ll take me time to bring myself to that usual jolly person that I am but then again so what… I know that when I’m feeling better it’ll all be worth it.

My best friend Wanggo answered to my question – “Why did the chicken cross the road?” “Because the chicken is free to do whatever it is he wants to do” True. Then I told myself… it’s a good thing that I’m not a chicken… because as a human being I make greater things happen.

I just don’t cross roads. I build them.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


Am so f*cking tired. Just finished a photo shoot for the new show that I’ll be directing. I was doing everything because of the limited budget… aaaaahhh, hate being undermanned, I was the director, the stylist, the production assistant all rolled into one… okay, am not complaining because am doing this for friends. But honestly, despite the tough work , I’ve never had so much fun. It’ll be the first time that I’ll be doing an all-extreme sports show and the testosterone level that I am in right now is just amazing. I did a surfing series before and shot surfers in Baler, La Union and Samar but this show will even be more extreme. I feel all so butch, haha. I just love it.

I can’t tell much except the working title – “SMASHED” will be edgy, raw, adrenalin filled and of course fun. Oh the host is to die for – “The Smasher”, the pseudonym that he’ll be using (Hey I coined that for him), is one of the most talented athletes there is right now. I swear… this hottie will be big .

Good luck to you sir… Make the country proud.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


At 21:05 this evening, in one of the most difficult situations that I was in, I got this text...

"You're an ass."

To someone who I thought would be my reason ... I'm no saint, but you just destroyed my spirit. I wish you joy.