Saturday, December 31, 2005


2005 I think would end up in my book as the busiest year for me.

I was working for six shows. And as if I wasn’t even busy enough, I even started my very own freaking magazine show. Though it was short lived, (we only finished one season) SALT will always be the greatest learning experience in my career. I learned how it is to really manage a television show, from producing everything with a shoe-string budget, to accomplishing everything given an unimaginable deadline, to even firing my director and my co-producers just because requirements weren’t being met. I had to do it otherwise things would have never worked out.

But one thing I learned in producing, no matter how everything gets screwed up, the bottom line is, you as the producer should take account to what happens. The cold buck stops at you and nobody should be blamed but you. Having said that, I still ended up being a bitch to my staff.

I traveled a lot in 2005, and it wasn’t even in my plan. I went to Baguio to celebrate my brothers birthday, I went to Boracay and experienced my first time to travel with friends in a ship, I enjoyed the beach a lot, I even ended up going back to Bora during the last quarter of the year. I went to Batanggas to check out windsurfing too.

I didn’t have plans of going out of the country but I ended up going to Bangkok and Singapore (God I love my job, the sleepless nights, the never ending editing was all really worth it.) I got to meet a lot of interesting people, I was able to go to a lot of interesting places, it was a great time to explore new things for me. I really learned a lot.

But I think the best thing that I did this year was that I was able to spend more time with my family. I was present in all the birthday parties, the impromptu dinners, the late nightouts with my sis to watch a movie or just really to spend quality time with them. I thank God really for being able to accomplish a lot this year. It was a productive year indeed.

I hope it continues next year, I’m wishing… no, I’m looking forward.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


I had the most wonderful Christmas Eve with the family.

It’s funny because I remember when I was young I always get so excited whenever I open gifts. Time has surely passed, this time around I get so excited whenever I wrap gifts for my brothers, my sis, my nieces, my ina-anaks. It’s so good to see their surprised faces when they open the gifts I so lovingly wrapped for them. This year was no different. As early as August I was already saving and buying gifts for them.

I saw the World Pyrotechnics thingy in Roxas Blvd. I was out with a friend and I didn’t really know what to expect. I didn’t have much to do so I went anyway to check it out. It was a long walk. My first time to go to the Mall of Asia, the competition was being held there. It was Australia and China who had to show off. We arrived 15 minutes too late, and the Chinese Pyrotechnics Team has already started.

I never thought that I would enjoy the show, but I really did. It was like being a kid again. There I was looking up above, uttering the “oooh’s” and “aaahh’s” at the most amazing firework show that I have ever seen.

It was a different way to spend the night, the holiday chill was in the air, and I was with a very good company to spend it with.

La Dolce Vita it is.

Sunday, December 11, 2005


I prepared two small get together dinners for some friends.

It was my birthday last Thursday and I wanted to spend it with the family so I decided to spend the salubong with my friends at work and the day after with highschool friends para no conflict. I asked my friend JT to cook for the salubong because he just opened his new food stall in One San Miguel. He prepared a lot actually, it even exteneded to the post birthday with my highschool friends.

To make the long story short. I had a blast. Good food, good wine, good company. Two of the best birthday parties I had. Small but very intimate.

Salubong Birthday Party:

Post Birthday with Highschool friends and other good friends:

Thank you guys for being the blessings that I always thank God for.

Thursday, November 24, 2005


I’m back home again.

I missed my friends a lot. My family the most. I had a great time with Maik last weekend. I didn’t want to go to clubs anymore but I missed my friends company so no choice but to check out Bed again. I always tell myself that I’ve passed this phase already. That clubbing isn’t me anymore. But I was wrong. Once I heard the familiar tracks I was hooked. Travis played a magnificent set. The kind that would give you a hit without even dropping anything. Natural f*cking high at it’s best.

I danced three hours straight. I made up for the catatonic nights in Singapore. I was so tired, that when I hit the sack I was a goner.

I can’t believe that I was out for 1 week. I have so many things to do these coming weeks. I still have to finalize the stories for the Singapore special. Ahhhhhhhrg.
Parang walang katapusan. I was out for work then when I returned, work was waiting for me again.

I can’t wait for my sabbatical… which I still have to schedule.

That’s just so pathetic.

Sunday, November 20, 2005


We had all our hopes but maybe our best just wasn’t as good enough, yet.

Team Philippines bowed to their worthy opponents. We gave them a good fight though. Who would have ever thought that a bunch of sophomoric kids would beat up professional gamers in the World Cyber Games? And they did, they were able to moved to the finals beating Finland which was a big team to beat. The Pinoy kids were having the time of their life playing not just for themselves but for the country as well. And for that alone, we were really proud of our boys. Kudos to all of you, I’m sure we will fare better next year.

Talking about next year’s event, I just hope somebody would still sponsor my trip though… the next one will be held in Italy. Amore… that, I can’t wait.

We didn’t want to leave Sim City without checking out the Art of Star Wars Exhibit in the Science Museum. It was a welcome treat to all Star Wars fans. Memorabilia from all of the six episodes were there.

I saw two iconic props, Padme’s birthing table and Darth Vader’s operating table.

I was so thrilled. DV’s the most iconic character when I was growing up, and no other cinematic character comes close, not even Superman I think. And seeing the very same costume that he wore during the actual filming in person was definitely an experience of a lifetime.

And for this alone, the trip to Sim City was definitely well worth it.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Interesting players abound this year’s WCG.

For instance, the U.S. team for counterstrike fielded in twin players as part of their roster. Then there’s this head turner Valerie from Germany who’s the sole female player among the 700 hopefuls. Talk about girl power, she seemed like she just came out of an FHM mag or something.

Then there’s this hot player from Russia named Alex who dyed his hair white, red and blue to show support to his country.

And the cutest player that stole everyone’s heart was the three year old boy Amir from Iran who can barely talk but his hands were damn unbelievable when it came to the Fifa Football game.

These interesting sorts made the games more colorful and an interesting watch.

It’s Friday night and Camille introduced to us her Danish boyfriend Tako. We first met for a good dinner at Emerald Hill, another chi-chi place to spend your hard earned moolah – 1750 Pesos just for a fairly decent meal and a drink (I can’t help it but I turned into a walking calculator since I got here).

Then off we went to Zouk. I was hearing a lot of things about the bar. Esquire voted it as one of the top ten best clubs in the world in a poll. So I was really expecting a lot. The queue was just unbelievable. And for $30 entrance, it’s really no joke. Clubbing here is indeed a serious business. Zouk is a superclub. It’s like Embassy but in a way much more grander scale. It has three humungous bars in its compound. First is Velvet Underground (I just so love the name), true to it’s name it emits a Warhol-esque vibe. It was like Andy-and-Nico-will-show-up-any-moment feel. The interior designer must have been in acid when he designed it cause it’s really psychedelic. The music gets my nod- Stephane Pompougnac of Hotel Costes fame was their anthem.

Then off we went to Phuture, the second part of the superclub. It’s all Hip-hop here and the crowd was just amazing. I’m really no fan of the genre but Tako and Camille wanted to stay for a bit so San and I had no choice but to dance a bit. Then we went to Zouk. This made my night really. I’m such a fan of “House” I can’t help but to feel orgasmic whenever great tracks came my way. Then there’s this huge banner saying “FOR THE LOVE OF THE HOUSE” which greeted everyone who enters. It was like going to Church or something.

Everyone was all prepared and everyone knows their music. House is their religion. There was a lot of Tiesto, Armin Van Buuren and Nick Warren mix playing. Last time I enjoyed good house music was Cream last Holloween. Too bad that we were in Singapore early. Apparently, in two weeks time,Van Buuren and Nick Warren will play in their yearly Zoukout (similar to a Big Fish event in Manila) where apparently 50,000 House and music aficionados are expected to attend.

I’m such a House Junkie. I just love the music really. And everyone did. One thing I liked about the people here is they go clubbing to appreciate and to dance to good house music. I, for any moment didn’t feel or saw the pretentious crowd who went to clubs just to be seen. Singaporeans, I give them a nod because they really know how to party.

San and I had to be responsible though, we had our curfew. So at 2.30am, when the crowd was just at its peak, we went home to prepare for the big event tomorrow – Philippines Vs. Germany for Counter Strike: Source.

It’s ok. I had my fair share of good House music.

I know that I’ll get my good night sleep.

Friday, November 18, 2005


Woke up late.

San and I had to rush, we only had 10 minutes for breakfast because the buffet closes a bit earlier than your usual hotel breakfast buffet. The food here too was kinda bland. I usually am not very particular with food but for some reason, the breakfast (chicken sausage, hash browns, baked beans and scrambled eggs)… was boring.

Then off we went to Suntech. There we met up with the boys. Two of them actually just arrived, and less than two hours before the match, they went straight to Suntech from the airport to fight with one of the toughest teams to beat. The WCG qualifying rounds for Counter Strike more than made up for the disappointing breakfast. It was exhilarating. I was doing the camera and my hands were shaking when the Philippine Team was battling it out with the Finnish team. The boys from Finland were apparently one of the bests in the tournament and they were actually eyeing for a bronze at the very least.

But the Pinoy boys wouldn’t throw the towel in just yet. It was a close match and after a lot of swearing and a lot of testosterone spilling, we got into the second round. The boys couldn’t believe it themselves. They were actually here just for the exposure and they didn’t even think that they’d be able to play in the semis. Then again, good things happen when you least expect it. Everyone was ecstatic. I too felt the sense of pride.

Come dinnertime, Camille, San’s best friend met us for a few beers. I haven’t seen Cam’s in years. Here she is, a permanent resident of Singapore already, producing for one of the biggest studios in Sim City. After studying in Singapore for three years she was able to get a good offer and she decided to stay. For a moment, I kinda reminisced about my stint in London as well. After finishing my studies in U.K. I had some offers to work with small companies there. Eventually I did, but after working for less than a year I opted to go back home. I have no regrets though. My five years of working in Manila was all worth it. But sometimes I can’t help but think about the “What ifs”.

We ended up with a big group- San, Camille and I with some Asian gaming journalists. After getting some beer at the bar infront Suntech, Cam brought us to this cool bar up north. Little Asia is the highest bar that I’ve been to I think. The bar is situated at the 70th floor of one of the hotels there. It offers a good view of the Singaporean Skyline. I’m impressed. Such a small city but the progress here is just amazing.

I wanted to get tipsy but the drinks were just damn too expensive (700 Pesos a mix). So after a cocktail we all decided to hit the dance floor. We met these two cool guys - Dennis and Chester. Dennis, a Singaporean who has his own company, which specializes on in-flight entertainment and Chester, a Chinese-Filipino, based in Japan and working for an I.T. firm. It was a “POP” night and the crowd was a bit older. I didn’t mind.

The past two days were so boring that I didn’t care what music was playing, I just really have to dance and go to a club. I haven’t been dancing to pop for the longest time so it was such a welcome break for me. And when GNR’s anthem track played… I banged my head to the music and sang at the top of my lungs with everyone…

“She's got a smile that it seems to me. Reminds me of childhood memories. Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky. Now and then when I see her face ... Woh, Sweet child o' mine.”

Singapore’s not that bad after all…

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Day two in Sim City.

We woke up early to check around. Took the bus and we all decided to take a peek at the famous Merlion that spits water from its mouth.

It was a long way from the bus stop so we had time to walk around check out the architecture of the city, the buildings and the streets. Again... it's all in order. The people, the traffic, everyone is following the strict rules, who wouldn't, a fine of $1000 will be imposed to anyone who's caught littering, jaywalking... disposing chewing gum on the street... I'm kinda liking the way things are here.

Then we arrived at Suntech. It's a titanic mall, Megamall times three or four I think. The event will take place at a gigantic hall at the top of mall. It's the biggest event I've covered so far. They flew in around 1500 people- the gamers, referees, the press. I can't imagine the logistics that took place.The opening though was a disappointment, I mean I was looking forward to a much more grander scale in terms of the production number, but we only saw cheerleaders and an anti-climatic fireworks at the end. Heck the Enchanted Kingdom closing production number spells more grandeur.

Nevertheless, everyone's all excited. We got to meet the Russian, German and a number of the European teams. They're actually very intimidating, I mean they are cyber athletes in the first place. They are paid to play gaming consoles and the corresponding p.c. games, and they all have big companies backing them up as to compared to our boys, they are all still studying and they can't play as much as they want to.

The boys said that they will give a good fight. They're all excited just by participating.

I'm still dead tired. So I told San if we can just go for a rest. But I needed a cold beer to end the day. We religiously went to the net cafe to check our bilins from back home. I was trying to get the number of my friend Kai who's Singaporean, wanted to ask him what's the best thing here that's worth our while. I got an email from him, and too bad he's in Malaysia for his friend's wedding and he'll not be back till Monday, he recommended a place called Tanjong Pangar. So after checking out our emails, we hailed a cab to check the place out.

It must have been my luckiest day because our driver turned out to be a born again Christian. I told him "Uncle, we're new here and we'd want to go to Tanjong Pangar, we heard that it's a good place to hang out..."

And he responded back "Oh... no... no... I'm Christian you see, and that place is no good place for tourists (sporting a very difficult to understand Sing-glish accent). You try the night market instead la?"

"But..." Before I can finish my sentence he tried to cut me and said... "It's my moral duty to protect you and tell you not to go there... It's bad... there are lot of boys kissing each other there..."

I can't believe what I was hearing actually, a taxi driver trying to argue and win his way so that he can save us from an "apparent" danger. I wanted to reason my way out but I just didn't have the energy so we decided to check out the night market instead.

Much to our disappointment, there's really nothing new there. Greenhills offers a much better find.So after a spicy curry dinner, we got ourselves a Tiger. It's their local beer. It's a big beer so San and I decided to share one bottle. It's the closest thing that we got to that elusive local color that we were craving for since we got here. We're crossing our hands that we'll get to see some action and some color in this rather bland city.

Second day in this dry city is uneventful. Damn that Taxi Driver.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


The group arrived a day early. I was expecting to see some action with the boys but the opening ceremony will not be until tomorrow... I was so tired, haven't really had enough sleep because we had to be in the airport at 6:00am in the morning. Nothing much to do, San and I found ourselves killing our time in the net cafe... trying to check out and learn a local slang or two. Singapore's too clinical for me... It's so perfect... It's like Sim City come to life. It's too good that it's predictable and kinda dry. I miss the dirt, I miss the spontaneity... miss the old rustic charm of Manila.

It's Tuesday and there was nothing happening in town. We went to Zouk and it was close so we ended up in this quaint bar called... uhumm... Rest Room. Nothing exceptional really, it was just that it was the first bar that looked cozy and that looked like it had history. The bad thing was there was no bar list so you have to tell the waiter what drinks to mix. For goodness, they didn't know how to mix Singaporean sling so I ordered a Screwdriver instead... damn it cost me $17 or roughly 550 Pesos.

San wanted to check out other bars but I had to beg off cause I was really tired.

Six more days to go... I don't know how I'll last...

Thursday, November 10, 2005


I just got the confirmation.

I'm leaving Tuesday morning to cover this cool event called World Cyber Games. WCG is like the olympics of computer gaming, last year they held the finals in San Francisco, this year they're doing it in Singapore. We pinoys got good exposure last year and hopefully we'll bag some trophies this year. Cool thing is I'm leaving with the Philippine team. For one week I'll be documenting them tough teenage gaming machines as they battle it out with the best gamers around the globe. I gotta make myself a small Philippine flag and wave it if ever there's an opening procession of some sorts, parang Olympics. Haha...

Way to go Pinoys... ipakita saa muundohh... Pinoy akoh... Pinooy... (Damn the Pinoy Big Brother last song syndrome...)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


I haven't been doing one of my most favorite things to do for quite some time now.

I love writing narrative screenplays. I used to spend a lot of time when I was still studying writing short screenplays for short movies. I was lucky enough to make three short movies out of some of my short screenplays - Popsongs and Wonderwoman, Games that Children Play, and Bang Bang Cults. They're mostly character studies of troubled but interesting individuals.

I love writing. It's a totally whole new world for me. It's where I am free to imagine and create interesting characters that would arouse my interest. It was hot yesterday afternoon and I wasn't doing anything much. Finally after months of working with no break I had some free time for myself. I went to my computer and started typing in some conversations between two characters - a carefree fifteen year old boy and his lola, fifteen days before the boy leaves for abroad for good after being petitioned by his American father, set in one of the hottest summers ever to be recorded in Philippine soil ...

The result is an interesting character study between two individuals and a screenplay that I can't wait to finish...

*Excerpt from the screenplay that I am writing: With the title "Pasintabi ng Araw sa Init ng Tanghaling Tapat"

Mako Voice-over:
Putang ina ang init… mapapamura na lang ako sa sobrang init ngayong araw na to. Actually… sa mga nagdaang araw… Walang exag pero talagang kumukulo lahat ng kaloob-looban ko… Eto na siguro yung pinakamainit na summer na na-experience ko. Gusto ko mang magmall pero –olats akong panggastos. Puta... problema pa tong long hair ko... Kaya eto, ligo na lang ako ng ligo. Puta…lulunurin ko na lang ang sarili ko sa malamig na tubig… di bale bago ko umalis papuntang "tate"... goodbye longhair...

Lola Aying:
Mako… mako…


Lola Aying:
At bakit walang yelo sa ref? Nasaan na yung mga ginawa ko dito kagabi?

Napatingin si Mako sa loob ng drum, nagkandalusaw-lusaw na ang mga yelong linagay nya sa loob nito. Pasimple nyang hinango ang mga plastic na balat ng yelo at dahang dahang tinapon nya ito sa may paso sa likod niya. At patay malisya syang nagpatuloy sa pagligo.

Lola Aying:
Mako, nasaan sabi yung mga yelo rito sa ref?

Napalabas si Lola Aying upang usisain ng lalo si Mako na abala sa pagligo. At sa nakita nyang nanginginig na katawan ni mako ay alam na nya kung anong nangyari sa ginawa nyang yelo.

Lola Aying:
Lintek kang bata ka… Alam mong gagamitin ko yung mga yun sa gulaman ha?

Ang init lola eh... Its d sans folt nat me…

Lola Aying:
Anong gagamitin ko ngayon ha? Sinong bibili ng gulamang hindi malamig? Inubos mo yung yelong ginawa ko…

Sinagot naman ito ni Mako ng kanyang karabaw English na isang lingo na rin niyang prinapraktis upang pagnagkita na sila ng kanyang Amerikanong ama ay hindi siya gaanong mapapasubo.

Ofcorz nat… I left sam der.

Lola Aying:
Iisa… iisang supot ng yelo sa isang galong sago’t gulaman… ha? Eh hindi na samalamig yon…

Opo… Eh di samaligamgam na lang sya….

Lola Aying:
Aba’t nakuha mo pang magbiro loko ka ha…

Kinuha ni Lola Aying ang suot nyang bakya at nasaakto na nyang babatuhin ang pilosopong apo.

La… masakit yan… isusumbong ko kayo, baka gusto nyong makasuhan ng DSWD… child battery yan…

Walang sabi-sabing binato ni Lola Aying si Mako subalit nakailag ang apo. Bigla namang sumalok ng tubig si Mako at pilit na binasa ang matanda. Patuloy siyang naglaro na parang bata… sa napaka-init na araw ng tanghaling tapat.

Monday, November 07, 2005


Apparently there's a big group of music aficionados who are returning to vinyl records.

That's way cool I think, I remember when I was young, I'd usually check out the turntable of my relatives and would ask them to play me an album or two. Even at a young age I love hearing and checking out cool music. I'm no Ipod fan really, I think they're covenient but I miss the novelty in listening to cassette tapes and stocking them neatly as collections. I used to save money when I was in elementary to buy 45Pesos cassette tapes of my fave artists. So I was thrilled when I heard that there'll be this cool exhibit in Makati of analog music technology.

So I went there, one sunday afternoon, and to my surprise not only was there an exhibit but there were some artists who'll perform to a live recording. The recorded gig will then be pressed into a limited vynil record. The line up was pretty impressive. Nyco Maca was captivating, Mishka Adams and Up Dharma Down were just amazing. It was an afternoon well spent. I got the music fix that I was craving for that day and I couldn't wait to get the vynil record. I got to check out cool turntables and antique amplifiers too. The entry level price wasn't cheap, reasonable though... I promise myself that I'll save for it and start collecting vynil. They just sound so much better... and a dozen or two stocked neatly look way much cooler than any nano there is...

Well then again, maybe that's just me really..

Monday, October 17, 2005


Yup... am back in town. I wouldn't want to pre-empt the show Good Finds but I've taken notes on the ten best finds of my recent Bangkok trip. I would really want to go back again and just go there for vacation. The trip was great but the work load was really tough... oh well... at least it was a freebie... too bad that my host was nowhere to be found, the feature would have been better if Jenny was there. But yup I think the episode will still be cool with these great finds and all...

Top 10: Fresh Lotus Flowers
being sold at the weekend Flower Market

Top 9: Thailand is such an authority of kitsch.
These stuffed birds are a must for the lovers
of gaudy trinkets.

Top 8: I love the fact that their creative
juices are flowing or even spilling over the streets.
Pop-art side walk vending will
surely be a welcome break to
the MMDA if ever it was done here.

Top 7: They maybe not be politically correct
but the shirts in racy Bangkok have caught my fancy.

I just love them.

Top 6: The best way to paint the town red
is by riding the "Tuktuk". I mean by the
name alone, how else can you go wrong?

It's a tricycle, cum jeep, cum taxi. Go figure.

Top 5: Fried crickets and edible worms might not
be for everyone, but for people who are game enough,
this acquired taste of a food is an experience not to
be missed.

Top 4: The Royal Guards. I've seen the changing of the
guards in Buckingham Palce when I was still in London,
but man, our brown brothers are way much cooler.
Calling them regal would be an understatement.

Top 3: You can see a more traditional side of Bangkok
from a river cruise. Enjoy the sights of quiet villages that
line the canals. One thing I noticed, there are a lot of
Thai boys who love cruising... haha...

Top2: Night Market. This for me is heaven.
Shopping is world's greatest invention I think... hehe.
Only if I had the moolah, damn, we left for
Bangkok and it wasn't sweldo yet so I had to
budget everything. I was able to get cool notepads
and some shirts though..

Top 1: Walking around. I love walking.
That's what I usually do whenever I find
myself in a new place. Walk and marvel at the
things around me... I love discovering new

The four day trip was freaking worth it... haay...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


This made my weekend.

I always believe that I am the child of the sea. That I was conceived while the waves were breaking and while the haunting hymn of the wind were being sung across the shores. I always have that affinity with the sky that envelopes me. For it is the crib of two of my favorites among God's "little" creations. The glorious sun that will always be my source of light and the nymphet moon that will always be my source of inspiration.

One minute was it all took for me to experience this priceless bliss. Gone were the sixty seconds but the feeling stays. I got my camera, held my breath and immortalized something that is so important to me. The boy was just sitting, while watching the untamed ocean. The blue boat gently sliced the waves. The man in the foreground was... simply, just in awe with the beauty that has embraced him.

I was teary eyed for God seemingly spoke to me... "life is priceless, and this is my gift, everything around you is beautiful, no matter how simple, how slow, how jarring, how chaotic life may seem, in the end, everything around you is moving, everything is changing."

And it is. Everything around us is changing.

And it follows, that everything around us spells hope.

Monday, October 03, 2005


My weekend's a blast, thanks for me being impulsive... I really had to escape... my work was piling up, I was fighting with my business partner, I was being petty with the guy that I am seeing, I was bitching with the cat next door... (I would have wanted to report the owner because pets aren’t allowed in any vertical living. At first I thought I was imagining things, that I was hearing a baby cry or something but in the end I realized that there was a cat next door, making these awful sounds like it was in heat or something)… I was always in the bad mood… as in I wasn't really thinking straight (haha, pun intended)… bottom line, I was just so burnt out with work...

So ayun kahit sobrang wala sa schedule, at medyo limited sa budget, I really just had to leave manila with a good friend. Sobra walang plano, Thursday evening, I was calling evryone that I know if they want to join me sa bora, I was able to get a freebie room from a friend so pamasahe na lang problema, buti na lang a group was going there na naka chartered (there was another friend celebrating her birthday, she knew the owner of the airlines and the airfare was unbelievably low… so low it was almost a joke), all the signs were there saying na... "Pao... umalis ka muna at baka magnervous breakdown ka na"... haha.

I was calling some friends to join, I have a free room and an airfare almost half the price but everyone was just so freaking busy, buti na lang I have a very good friend na kaladkarin. Pumayag si mokong at the last minute, he’s also impulsive like me so he asked his boss if he can skip work for a day and he joined me there... The trip was all worth it…sobra saya that we ended up staying another day...

Konti pa tao and the beach was so peaceful, I gotta hang out and talked with the locals which was I think the best thing in the island... Ken and Dino, two ultra sports buff who are very much into kite boarding, this is a sport that is slowly taking the island by surprise… it was so freaking expensive though...I think $275 dollars, but they were asking me If I’d want to try it for free… I chickened out… I was scared na baka liparin ako tapos di na ko mabalik sa island… and yeah… I don’t know how to swim… haha.

Then there was Mario, the local zoologist… he’s the one taking care of the Fairways butterfly farm… it was my first to go inside a butterfly farm... God, I swear I had the most fun. To tell you the truth, I wasn't fond of butterflies before… It is only now that I appreciate how magical they are… from a creepy caterpillar to a regal butterfly. I love what they undergo through… Metamorphosis is such a cool thing.

My next project… I’d want to stay in Bora for a month… I’ll try to make money by selling my art or doing crafts there (I think I’m getting good with the jewelry making thingy)… I’ll pack my bag light (which I always do) and live how the locals would live in the island… which is to live simple but spend your time the best way possible. I think I can hack that… This trip was different from the last time because I really had a good time. I was literally one with the island.

Anyway… now I’m back… working my ass off again… trabaho to the max… but am more relaxed now and I believe that I can take up the beating once again. I feel 110% recharged and my efficiency is at its best I think... para ako ngayong energizer bunny... the action never stops… haha... =)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


You sent me this...

Narenai doushi de, yoku ganbatta ne
machigatta koi wo shita kedo... machigai de wa nakatta...

Yume miteta no wa doko made?

Watashi no te de Be my last... Itsuka musubareru yori.

Being unaccustomed to one another, we did well, no?
We were part of a mistaken love... but it wasn't really a mistake ...

How far were we dreaming?

With my hands, be my last... So that we may one day be connected.


I replied...


Monday, September 19, 2005


Yesterday: "I hate you more..."

Tonight: "I hope your day was peachy!"

Me: "Ano ba talaga? Haha?"

Hirap mong ispelengin...

I was checking the dictionary and I found other great four letter words....


That's the optimist in me talking.

So what does the boy think?

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


I got this text yesterday from someone who's slowly becoming a natural part of my system.

"I hate myself for being afraid... I'm scared of myself when it comes to you..."

I always feel that I'm easy to get along with but in honesty I'm very difficult to fathom. And I'm actually happy and okay with it because by being so, people would usually take time to get to know the real me. I am a difficult person I know. I'm difficult to read, difficult to understand but once you invest time and get to know me I'm really just the most natural and the most loyal thing there is. I know myself. I know my limitations but I also know what I'm good at and capable of.

I will never be impulsive that's for sure. I will never give in just because I'm pressured or just because it's the most convenient thing to do. I want to discover relationships. I want to explore people. I want time, an ample time to really get to know someone. I'll never be afraid because fear will only leave me with parameters and with limitations. If I'm interested I'd take time and the effort to really get to know you, to get to be in your shoes and experience your being. In the end I'd always want to be sure of myself before taking in the plunge. In the process I may hurt myself or maybe hurt others but in this game of the hearts that's the price that we all have to pay. Love is evolving, it will never be easy, it's a difficult process but in the end it's definitely worth the time and the effort. Finding and falling in love is the most rewarding thing on earth.

He will be able to read this post I know... (As you've said it yourself) "Fearing to be only increases the risk of becoming...".

It's dangerous there in the freeway.

We just really have to always wear our safetybelts on.

Sunday, September 11, 2005


Haha... was checking out some emails and my friend Damien forwarded these useless sites that actually helped me out in my boring Sunday morning... had fun towards afternoon when I got to check out Body Combat and Cosmic Spinning at Fitness... talk about natural high in sports... definitely worth the hit.

But anyway, yeah... check out these useless sites that can leave you a smile or two... But hey, they're really useless ok... don't say I didn't warn you...

Have you ever wonder which star you look like? I had a ball checking this site out... malapit naman talaga eh... hehe...


I just love them Japanese... so when the opportunity for me to get my Japanese name came... di ko na pinatagal...


Get to punch the most annoying celebrity and personality there is... Saddam Hussein, Tony Blair... and even the Telletubies... I chose the most over rated pop diva... too bad Barbara's nowhere to be found.


Saturday, September 10, 2005


Kapelikula Pictures proudly brings you LAST FULL SHOW, directed by a young Filipino-American director Mark Reyes. The movie tells us the story a young affluent schoolboy Crispin and how the seedy underground movie world has taught him life lessons not necessarily taught in the four corners of his classroom.

Ang Last Full Show ang kauna-unahang pelikula ng batang director na si Mark Reyes. Mahigit sa dalawang taon bago nya nabuo ang sensitibong screenplay ng pelikula na ayon rin sa kanya ay masasabing may pagka auto-biographical.

Ang batang si Crispin ang syang sentral na karakter at sa kanya umiikot ang masalimuot na istorya ng pelikula. Habang unti-unti nyang nakikilala ang mundo ng pagnanasa ay makikilala nya ang isang mas nakakatandang lalaki na siyang magtuturo sa kanya ng masakit na realisasyon ng isang bawal na pag-ibig.

At ang first time direktor natin ay pumili sa mga baguhang aktor upang gumanap ng sensitibong karater na si Crispin.

Ang napili niya ay ang binatang si Francis Villanueva na di kapani-paniwalang walang anumang background sa pag-arte .

Francis Villanueva was such a natural that his presence in the screen alone was already the triumph of the movie. But the brilliance of the movie doesn’t stop there.

The movie is probably one of the best works of ace cinematographer Neil Daza, responsible for such opus as Dekada 70, Yamashita, and La Vida Rosa. The Production design is by topnotch production designer, Famas awardee Kaye Abano.

To date the movie has been shown in more than 36 film festivals abroad and will be premiering in Manila this coming Cinemanila International Film Festival.

Abangan ninyo ang espesyal na pelikulang ito na talaga namang maipagmamalaki natin sa buong mundo.


Best Short Film
Turin International Film Festival
The Academy of Art University Film Festival

Special Jury mention
Cinema Jove International, Spain

Friday, September 09, 2005


Your's was a breath of fresh air.
But inactivity made the freshness stale.

Now... the butterflies are scattered.
And it will be difficult
to gather them back again.

Five words.


Thursday, September 08, 2005


From an article that I just read:
Two gay Iranian teenagers -- one 18, the other believed to be 16 or 17, were executed this week for the "crime" of homosexuality, the Iranian Student News Agency (ISNA) reported on July 19. (The ISNA report is in Farsi, and was translated into English by the British gay rights group OutRage!, which released its report today--ISNA also provided the terrifying photos of the teens' last moments you see on this page. The two youths -- identified only by their initials as M.A. and A.M., were hanged on July 19 in Edalat (Justice) Square in the city of Mashhad in north-eastern Iran, on the orders of Court No. 19. The hanging of the teens was also reported by the National Council of Resistance of Iran.
And the website Iran Focus not only confirms the story but provides more details, reporting that "Members of Iran’s parliament from the north-eastern city of Mashad, where a minor and an 18-year-old man were publicly hanged yesterday, vented their anger on Wednesday on foreign and domestic news outlets for reporting the ages of hanged prisoners...Ultra-conservative deputy Ali Asgari said that the two deserved to be hanged in public, adding, 'Whatever sentence is decreed by an Islamic penal system must be approved, unless proven otherwise.' Asgari complained of foreign and domestic reporting that the two were mere boys. 'Instead of paying tribute to the action of the judiciary, the media are mentioning the age of the hanged criminals and creating a commotion that harms the interests of the state,' the member of the Majlis Legal Affairs Committee said. 'Even if certain websites made a reference to their age, journalists should not pursue this. These individuals were corrupt. Their sentence was carried out with the approval of the judiciary and it served them right.' "
What a sad day in human history...

Monday, September 05, 2005


Honey brings them together.
The eager boy and the busy bee.

Once, the boy posed himself as a bee.
He tried to touch the rose
but the flowers wouldn’t let him.

The thorns pricked
the fingers. The earth drank the blood.
And the busy bee saw the travesty
of pretending.

he went to the boy and stung him
like how a real bee would sting.

“You’ll never be a bee”. He said.
All swollen up, the boy took his cue
And left the busy bee to collect
the honey that he wished only for himself.

“Let me be the one to gather it for you”
That’s how it works the bee told the eager boy.
He consumed the nectar and transformed
it to the honey that brings them together.

The boy dipped his fingers.
The crimson mixed with sweet gold.
He savored every dropped.
And experienced an orgasmic delight that
the honey can only bring him.

The busy bee left the eager boy
and for a moment they were one in spirit.

The bee tried to keep his wound from getting bigger,
for the flowers wouldn’t let him near them too.
This is actually what brings him back,
no matter how dangerous the grounds can be.
To gather the honey that brings them together,
And to see the eager boy happy.

The fairy tale ends here.
And the roses live happily ever after.

Sunday, September 04, 2005


I’m tired from borrowing seconds,
I’m tired from breathing someone’s air.
I don’t know I f I can spend another person’s morning.
But when you knock at my door, I can’t help but submit.
I surrender to your kiss.

Will I ever see the sun shine between our embrace?
I dare not ask. I do not think. I’m a fool.
And yup, our hearts make us do crazy things.

Until when will I keep up with this?
When I gain freedom,
from you,
from your spell,
from your touch,
from your shadows,
from your smile,
from your heart.

Until then, I’ll be your willing victim.
Until it’s eight o’clock, and you have to go… again.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


I see myself heading the exact same route.

And it scares me to know that I’ve been on the same road before, passing the same pit stops, maneuvering the same corners. I keep on asking myself if I’ll ever learn.

Riding fast cars gives me the rush. I usually end up closing my eyes, covering my ears, shutting my mouth to escape the cold air but this time I told myself, I wouldn’t really care anymore. I’m having my fix and that’s what’s important.

I was scared. But you assured me.
I took my breath. You followed.
I inhaled. You exhaled.
I looked at the rear view mirror. You smiled.

I took my chance. You held my hand.

I see myself heading the same bumpy route but this time I’m not getting out of the car. I’ll stay put and I’ll fasten my seatbelt on to keep me safe.

You’re my driver, you can drive me fast but just be sure to follow the traffic rules.

My trust is onboard.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


2:45 am

The moribund moon
leaves a glance
as two lost souls try to find
the light that they will never own.

She shuts her eyes
from two different hearts
who dream to beat as one.

Never she says,
will your each other’s
breath be yours.
Never will the sun
see you together.

We steal each other’s time
As we devour each other’s flesh.

And when ecstasy bursts in the darkness of the night…

You try to own me…


And the moribund moon hides,
never to be seen again.

Monday, August 08, 2005


"Superheroes ain't got nothing on you right now. You're in the zone, and just about everything you touch will turn to platinum. Now make sure you use those powers for good, all right? " My horoscope for tomorrow from

I can't wait! Will tell you what happens later then.

Saturday, August 06, 2005


I was working, I was singing, I was head banging.

Last night will definitely go down in my book as one of my busiest ever. It’s been a long time since I had fun checking out the different music spots, and boy was I amazed on how the local music scene has really improved.

I was having a long day at IslaMusik (they recently got me to head the show). I had to finish my script and supervise the voice-over of our host Ala Paredes. The girl’s cool by the way. I had the impression before that she was a little bit too stiff on t.v. But in person, she’s really not, she just have to be prepped up properly.

I had to listen to a lot of classical music because we’re doing a full episode on the genre. For that, I had to watch videos of the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra to get the gist and feel of what I was writing.. It was a day of Vivaldi, Puccini, and the likes. I don’t even know these people but listening to them gave me the drive.

After working in the office, I went to the opening of my friend Marq's show. Kuh Ledesma and Zsazsa Padilla did their debut of Diva to Diva in Mandarin. The show kicked off with their own version of Vouge, and what an opening number it was. To label them GLAM will be an understatement. I always remember waking up Sunday afternoons hearing their voices on T.V. And believe me, seeing them in person and hearing them live, the experience is nowhere near it. These fortysomethings (sexy at their age mind you) definitely rocked all the chi-chi crowd in the venue.

I had to leave early to meet my friend Santi in Greenbelt. There was a launching of a new music spot there. Every Fridays, M CAFÉ is transformed to M HOUSE. House aficionados’ will have their fix with the metro’s top spinners.

Wanted to check it out but we had to go to Mayrics to check out the album launch of this new "sobrang makulit" band that I’m slowly becoming a groupie of. God, I haven’t stepped in Mayrics in ages. It was probably years since the last I visited the place. But the feel is still there, the rawness, the testosterone-filled, indie feel still resonates in the air.

When we got there, BAGETSOFONIC was still finishing their last set. The teenagers were having the time of their life playing to the equally responsive audience. Then a guy dressed up in a spiderman costume went onstage and started playing the drums. The hypnotic beat ushered in an uproar. KIKO MACHINE played their slowly-becoming hit TAKESHI’S CASTLE and the crowd love them. Everyone went wild. I, the ever-proper Paolo totally lost it and started banging my head to the beat. I was in trance.

Nope, my night didn’t end there. My friend Cindy called me to remind me that SPY will be performing in BIG SKY MIND. So off we went there to check out the final gig of the day. The place was crowded. At 2am people from the indie scene, yuppies, the artsies, the chi-chi crowd and (strangely enough) even people from the mainstream showbiz were dancing their night away. Sammy Asuncion of Pinikpikan fame was on command.

The crowd adored him, the folk rock meets jazz meets heavy rock was another creation of the genius that is Sammy. I was a fan of him even from before. I use to force my old group to check out Pinikpikan every time they had a gig years ago. Then, Sammy, out of the blue started singing a few lines of Carpenter’s “A Song For You”. The crowd didn’t know how to react. Was he joking? Was he tripping? Was this a part of an act? Then his group backed him up, what followed was probably the tripiest, the best cover version of any Carpenter song that I’ve heard. It was like listening to James Brown doing Carpenter and what an aural delight and sight to behold. Trully immaculate.

I was so tired, was so drunk, but I never had so much fun. This was truly a Friday night to remember. From Classical, to Pop, to Electronica, to Alternative Rock, to Folk Rock to Jazz, to Fusion, I had everything covered just in one night. Beat that.

Oh God, I love Filipino Music.

Friday, August 05, 2005


The boy stopped flying.

It was but
the most natural thing to do.

To stop.
To think.
To breathe.

And be human.

Thursday, August 04, 2005


For the last two days, I was really feeling down.

Something bad happened. It bothers me that people think so lowly of me just because my actions, my writings, my words were misread. It bothers me that they form bad judgment on me just because they assume too much, just because they put too much value on ego… just because they haven’t seen the bigger picture… just because they don’t know the real me.

I always have this mantra since I was young, that in fights I should always accept that it’s my fault and I should always be the one to be blamed. Not because I’m chicken, not because I don’t want to fight for what is right but because I hate trouble. I hate fights… so as much as possible the cold buck should always stop at me. Life’s too short. It’s futile to waste people’s energy on misunderstandings.

I told myself I’ll not be affected, I’m tougher than this and I’m strong and nothing can put me down. Then a great realization hit me… my good friend texted … “But you’re a human being…” That got me thinking. Of course… I’m entitled to feel bad. I’m no man of steel; I’m no superboy even though that’s what I want to believe. I’m entitled to get hurt. I’ve the capacity to feel all these emotions because, after all, I’m just but a human being. And by getting hurt and by feeling bad I’ll value more the joys that this great life can bring.

And so with this realization, I’ll slowly move on. When people say to me… “don’t worry it’s his lost”, I can’t really say it’s all true because in reality it’s also mine. It’ll take me time to bring myself to that usual jolly person that I am but then again so what… I know that when I’m feeling better it’ll all be worth it.

My best friend Wanggo answered to my question – “Why did the chicken cross the road?” “Because the chicken is free to do whatever it is he wants to do” True. Then I told myself… it’s a good thing that I’m not a chicken… because as a human being I make greater things happen.

I just don’t cross roads. I build them.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


Am so f*cking tired. Just finished a photo shoot for the new show that I’ll be directing. I was doing everything because of the limited budget… aaaaahhh, hate being undermanned, I was the director, the stylist, the production assistant all rolled into one… okay, am not complaining because am doing this for friends. But honestly, despite the tough work , I’ve never had so much fun. It’ll be the first time that I’ll be doing an all-extreme sports show and the testosterone level that I am in right now is just amazing. I did a surfing series before and shot surfers in Baler, La Union and Samar but this show will even be more extreme. I feel all so butch, haha. I just love it.

I can’t tell much except the working title – “SMASHED” will be edgy, raw, adrenalin filled and of course fun. Oh the host is to die for – “The Smasher”, the pseudonym that he’ll be using (Hey I coined that for him), is one of the most talented athletes there is right now. I swear… this hottie will be big .

Good luck to you sir… Make the country proud.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


At 21:05 this evening, in one of the most difficult situations that I was in, I got this text...

"You're an ass."

To someone who I thought would be my reason ... I'm no saint, but you just destroyed my spirit. I wish you joy.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Friday, July 29, 2005


Why did the chicken cross the road? Got this text from someone and I really didn't know what to answer him. I mean what would you answer to something so lame right? I don't know... I guess it really depends on my mood.

On ordinary day Paolo will answer:
Haha…what the fuck do I care?

Paolo when trying to be machiavellian will answer:
To live the resistance, change will always be the answer. Let’s all join them on the other side.

Paolo the right wing will answer:
I don’t know with you… but I’m staying on this side.

Paolo when being apolitical will answer:
We should all follow the rule of law. We are living in a democratic country so if the chickens decide to cross to the other side then it’s their prerogative.

Paolo the oppositionist will answer:
Cause they’re not afraid. Be not afraid. Gloria Resign!

Paolo when trying to be deep will answer:
To stir up water and catch fish.

Paolo when trying to hook up with someone will answer:
I don’t know… you tell me… here’s my number.

Paolo when pretending that he knows conversational Spanish will answer:
Siiiiii… (Slowly nodding his head).

Paolo when suffering from last song syndrome will answer:
Chicken moves in mysterious ways... (Singing mala-Nina).

Paolo pag nagpapaka-konyo will anwer:
Dude… that’s so trippy. Why did the chicken cross the road… haha…. Hanep dude!

Paolo when trying to be a poet will answer:
For time is of the essense…

Paolo pag naka-coca will answer:
How dare you have the audacity to insinuate that I will be stupid enough to answer that question?

Paolo when uninterested will answer:
(He’ll not answer at all… he’ll just roll his eyes, pretending he didn’t hear anything)

Paolo when sabaw-sabaw will answer:
Cross? Chicken? May meeting ako mamaya eh… tapos umulan kahapon.

Paolo when giyang will answer:
May partee yata dun eh. Tara.

Paolo when praning will answer:
Aba malay ko? Hoy ha… di ko kasalanan yan… Wala kong pinilit. Ni hindi ko nga alam na may manok dun eh. Saan? Sige nga! Saan sila tumawid? Basta ko wala ko dyan.

Paolo when drunk and while eye-locking with someone inside a club will answer:
Anne: Wait… where’s Paolo?
Wanggo: I don’t know… he was just here a minute ago.

Paolo, because he has a difficulty in saying no, will answer:

Paolo when nagtataray will answer:

Paolo when horny will answer:
There was a cockfight on the other side… hey…do you want to see two cocks fighting?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


I swear I told myself that I'll never answer any of those chain surveys... Wanggo you owe me one.

Three names you go by:
1. Jaypee
2. Pao-pao
3. Paolo

Three screen names you had:
I don’t think that I ever had one but I had a pseudonym when I was writing for the school literary paper – Krisostomo Francisco.

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. eyes
2. chest
3. smile

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. height. 2 more inches would have been divine.
2. shoulder. I really have to start working on my posture.
3. Ahhrg… stomach. I want them lean.

Three parts of your heritage:
I always thought I was pure Pinoy. I love the color of my skin…but during one reunion, one of our distant elders told us that our great great grand mother was from Macau. Lutong Macau ako ganun? Haha.

Three things that scare you:
1. Mediocrity
2. Procastination.
3. Failure.

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. diet coke
2. inhaler
3. news

Three of your favorite musical movies:
1. Parapluis des cherbourg
2. Rocky horror picture show
3. Hedwig and the angry inch

Three of your favourite musical artists:
1. Jamiroquai
2. AC Jobim
3. Chunking (Ain’t she the most angelic voice ever…)

Three of your favourite songs:
1. Glorybox (Portishead)
2. Breathe In (Fru-fru)
3. Sweet Emotions (Aerosmith)

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Loyalty
2. Trust
3. Understanding

Three lies and truths in no particular order:

1. And they all lived happily ever after…
2. Size matters.
3. 1+1=2

1. Less talk., less mistakes.
2. Early bird catches the worm...(Not just...)
3. All is fair in love and war.

Three of your favourite hobbies:
1. dvd marathons
2. discovering new things with friends
3. photography

Three things you really badly want to do now:
1. Slap Binay in the head.
2. Travel
3. Ultimate Frisbee

Three careers you are considering/considered getting into:
1. photographer
2. museum or an art gallery curator
3. jewelry designer

Three places you want to go on a vacation:
1. Nepal
2. Sao Paolo
3. Batanes

Three kid's names you like:
1. Luna
2. Bijou
3. Zeus

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. To be able to circumnavigate the world.
2. Sky diving
3. To be a good father.

Three ways you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I always loose my keys
2. I go gaga over new toys and gadgets
3. I've got a messy room. As in.

Three ways you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I can never make up my mind.
2. I’m have difficulty in saying no.
3. I over exagerate things sometimes.

Three people I would like to see take this quiz:
1. Berna Girl
2. Jason Kulit
3. Haru Neruda

Sunday, June 19, 2005



Fly High.

Sky is wide.

My heart is open.

Monday, June 13, 2005


To the true child of the bohemian revolution,

It would be unfair for me to tell you to wait…because it really is. Who am I to ask you this favor? I know that I’m not worth it. But time is really of the essence; I know for sure that whatever I’m having with “the force that has caught me by surprise” has to rest and has to end because common sense dictates so. It is the right thing to do. End is inevitable and I’m ready to face that music. He became my source of strength and my source of inspiration and I will not apologize for the times that we shared together. It was not right I know but I have to face that guilt myself. You on the other hand accepted me unconditionally and I will forever be grateful for that.

It would be unfair for me to tell you to wait…because it really is… but when the time comes and I’m ready to face the world without baggage and attachments… I’ll knock on your door and I hope that my Neruda welcomes me with his powerful words again…

Random words pair us remember?


Wednesday, June 08, 2005


random words pair us
two reeds entwined.

Saturday, June 04, 2005


Your love
is a lot like
those indivisible
that give
structure to
every form…

Without it,
there are

no nucleus,
no neutrons,
no electrons,
no isotopes…

Without it
there is
no such thing
as “matter”…

Nothing matters.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


To the force that has caught me by surprise,

Thank you for teaching me that love is a lot like energy, and the law of physics applies with it… that love is more than just a tendency; it can never be created or can never be destroyed. Thank you for making me realize that in the end, love will be dispersed if it’s not hindered… that it breathes life to where there is none.

Yes…you are my science… and I am thrilled to be your scientist.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005


I love…

meeting friends
meeting new friends
meeting nocturnal friends. 1am to be exact. Over a beer or two.

Kissing friends. In a platonic way.
Kissing boyfriend.
Kissing friends who are potential boyfriends. May or may not be in a platonic way.

laughing at funny jokes.
laughing at funny situations.
laughing. Hmmm… just laughing. with no reason at all.

writing random notes.
writing poetry.
writing haiku. While thinking of cute Japanese boys and girls as inspirations.

listening to astrud gilberto and the bossa nova.
listening to Jamiroquai.
listening to raindrops. On a rainyday. While hugging
those goose feather pillows that I love so dearly.

reading tabloids.
reading details magazine.
reading philosophy books.
reading machiavelli. While planning on how to one day rule the world.
reading my favorite book. On a rainyday. While hugging
those goose feather pillows that I love so dearly.

Watching romantic films.
Watching my favorite cartoons.
Watching my cartoony friend talk. He makes me laugh all the time.

dancing to trance music.
dancing with friends.
dancing with complete strangers. By the end of the night, chances are,
I have befriended them already.

eating dinner with friends.
talking about heart problems with friends.
discussing politics with friends.
discussing socio-political issues with friends.
discussing how dirty cheap I got my new shoes with friends.

learning new things.
exploring new grounds.
discovering new possibilities. Which happen to be endless.

falling in love.
feeling the butterflies in the stomach.
listening to someone’s irregular heartbeats.
taking the risks.
hugging my significant someone. On a rainyday. With
the goose feather pillows lying beside our head.

Thursday, April 28, 2005


Kundangan kasi’y
naglabas pa
ng ibang mapagpipilian…
At bakit di na lang nakuntento
sa kokakolang hatid ri’y
pamatid-uhaw na kagyat.

Kundangan kasi’y
naimbento pa
ang kung tawagi’y nutra-sweet…
Naisara tuloy ang mga azucarerang
disin sana’y taga-paghatid
ng tamis at dyabetis.

Kundangan kasi’y
natagpuan ko pa
ang pag-ibig mong walang saysay…
di tulad ng latang recycable
na pagkatapos gamiti’y
may bukas pang naghihintay.

Hindi man lang nila naisip
na sa bawat bukas
at sa bawat lagok,
ay lalung hahanapin
ng manhid kong katawan
ang sarap at tabang
ng kung anong
nakakalasong kemikal.

Tulad ng pag-ibig mong carcinogenic,
subalit siguradong
ang siya nitong


Friday, April 22, 2005


“Pao-pao san ka? Tagal natin di nagkita ah.”

I got a familiar text from a seemingly familiar number while I was listening to this “baduy” love song from Aegis. I was finishing a script when the beep from my phone caught me by surprise. I haven’t seen this familiar number appearing on my phone for almost 12 months now. Someone from the past has decided to haunt me again. But surprisingly I didn’t feel scared, as a matter of fact I was actually quite excited. I dialed the number and heard that familiar voice that I’ve tried to avoid for reasons I’d rather keep to myself. What felt awkward for the first 30 seconds became the most normal feeling in the world for the next five minutes or so. He politely asked what I was doing; I answered him in a manner that was a bit trivial. There was this nervous laughter all through out from both sides.

“Coffee later?” I asked.

“Sounds good to me. See you after work?” He answered.

What a difference a year makes. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I cannot actually remember what state I was in last year. I do know that I was a bit directionless, naïve, I was spending a lot on nonsense stuff, and I was spending a lot of time with people of no sense. “Poster Boy” was a breath of fresh air. He was one of the few people who actually understood what I was going through. He knew how to make me laugh. We’d converse for hours and hours. We usually wouldn’t agree with a given point but we’d respect our different views. We’d laugh at each other’s jokes no matter how corny they were.

We enjoyed each other’s company. That’s what I remembered the most.

“Later then.” I said bye and hang up my phone.

I couldn’t help but utter some lines from the Aegis song… “Nananaginip ng gising… nakatulala sa hangin…” Fuck. Last song syndrome.

I finished earlier than the usual. Wednesday early evening is usually a dead day but for some reason everyone decided to go out. Everyone was headed to the mall. Got a message from “Poster Boy”.

“I’m in Tower 1st floor”. He texted.
“Am here. 5 min.” I replied.

There were just so many people going to and coming out of the mall that my 5 min became 10, then 15. When I arrived the record bar I saw this familiar figure, listening to some tracks at the listening station, humming some words I can’t seem to understand.

I saw Nina’s poster covering half of “poster boy”. He was humming to the “it” love song at the moment… “Love moves in mysterious ways”. I tried humming it on my mind too.

“Hey there… sorry I’m late.” I said.

He gave me that familiar grin. “Hmmm… never change, huh?.” He smiled.

I didn’t know what to answer. I just smiled back at him.

“So where do we go for coffee?” He asked.
“Don’t ask me, I’m Mr. Passive…” I answered.
“Haha… what’s new?” He replied.
“Yeah.” I couldn’t help but smile back again.

We ended up in Gloria Jeans. We munched on those sinful cinnamons while trying to reconnect with each other. One year of not conversing was no joke. There were so many things to talk about. We didn’t know where to start. He told me that I lost weight. I told him that he looked better now. He told me about his new job. I told him about my new job too. He told me new stuff about him. We talked about the old stuff that we remembered from the past. We were laughing all the time while remembering the happy days that we’ve shared before.

“How in the world did we meet again?” I asked. I can’t remember how everything started. It felt so irrelevant to me because what I felt important was the feelings that we’ve shared and not the details. I felt the details were trivial.

He pointed at the direction of 6750 Ayala Ave

“There… you don’t remember?” He told me.
“What did we do?” I asked.
“You want me to enumerate it to you?” He asked.
“Ok… do you remember?” I dared him.

“We met at the entrance of 6750… then we had coffee at Starbucks… then we went to Fort at this bar beside Price Smart… Bora bar… then Malate…” He tried to refresh my memory.

“Did we go to BED Bar?” I asked.
“Nope… we just drank at Fidel.” He answered.
“That was it?” I asked.

“Nope… that was the first day. We went back to your place. Slept. Then watched movies in the morning. Then I accompanied you to your work cause it was my break. Your office was in front CCP right?” He had perfect memory of what happened all through out.

“We walked around the bay. Talked more and ….”

“And what?” I asked.
“We had inihaw na pusit for merienda. Walked and talked more and I hailed you a cab and you went home…” He concluded.

Everything was still fresh in his mind. It seemed like it just happened yesterday. He spoke in a very enthusiastic manner and he also got me excited by doing so. I don’t really remember all the details but I remembered the feeling that I was having when I was with him during that day. We were like kids, exploring new places, new grounds that both of us we’re not familiar with.

“Grabe daming nangyari after that… nag-away pa nga tayo diba?” He said.

“Don’t go into that. Happy thoughts lang ok.” I said.

There was this awkward beat afterwards. I smiled. He smiled back. We ended up laughing at each other. So many things have changed between the two of us but that familiarity and that feeling of being at ease with each other stayed the same.

We walked around the mall, slightly brushing each others arms occasionally.

“Hey, join me, have to buy something for HIM before I go home. ” He said.
“You never change. Sweet ka pa rin sa kanya.” I answered.
“Four years… some things never change dude.” He told me.

Then reality hit me. Some things never really change.

Feelings evolve, time passes but some constant will forever be constant.

After buying food. He brought me near my station.

“Hey, dude. I missed you. Thanks for taking some time off. You text me ok. I’m not doing much next week. Let’s hang out again ok.” He said.

“Will do.” I smiled and nodded my head signaling my goodbye.

I caught his last stare. I heard his seemingly nervous laughter. I slowly walked the other way and entered my station. The centralized radio was playing another “baduy” love song…”Some good things never last”. Coincidence? I don’t know. I didn’t really care.

I was softly humming the chorus. I didn’t mind. I'm such a hopeless romantic.

It’s fun to be baduy sometimes.