Here's an interesting read/ review on one of the best movies of the year...
HETERO'S GUIDE TO BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
by GRAEME MACRANOR
Women have always loved cowboys.
And really, what's not to love? The cowboy - and I don't mean the imposters found amidst the cops and colonels on the highly-competitive male-stripper circuit - represents everything a woman wants in a man, and he exerts the kind of magnetic, hyper-manliness rarely seen in today's brand of well-coiffed urban male.
It's simple really: The cowboy's sensitive soul is encased in a well-muscled physique ubiquitously covered in slick layer of sweat. The cowboy can rope a steer, fix a fence and cook up a fiery pot of chili with enough potency to bring tears to the eyes.
But even though the cowboy has the power to shed tears, and regardless of how much women swoon, he's always been a man's man. So maybe it shouldn't be surprising that the dudes in Oscar-favourite Brokeback Mountain have finally figured out that you don't need a horse to do a little bareback riding.
Now almost everyone loves gay cowboys. Suddenly, gay cowboys are riding roughshod over the normally hetero-dominated plains of pop culture (except for those wicked circuit parties, and most music, television, advertising and fashion), lassoing history's cowboy heroes along the way and corralling them into that big old barn called oblivion.
But just hold your horses. According to star Jake Gyllenhaal, Brokeback is not about two gay men, but rather about two straight men who fall in love. Slightly confused, I grabbed my weathered copy of The So-Straight Handbook for Cowboys out of the closet, and it clearly states that's "pretty gay".
Regardless, today's straight urban male is an enlightened breed. Our hair stylists are gay and we're fine with it. We support gay marriage and we'll even go see a musical or two, as long as it's not Cats. But two friends who fall in love? For some of us, that premise rubs us the wrong way. And there's nothing our girlfriends can say or do to convince us to go see a couple of sexy, hyper-manly tickle-fighting cowboys. Period.
So as I came out of the theatre last night escorted by my girlfriend's ear-to-ear smile, it struck me that some of us likeminded males may just need a little prodding to get over the hump, so to speak. Perhaps I could help convince them that, with the proper preparation, Brokeback Mountain was actually pretty easy to swallow. Then it hit me like a Heath Ledger: The Hetero's Guide to Brokeback Mountain: How to Get In and Out with Success.
HERE ARE A FEW GUIDELINES TO HELP YOU GET THROUGH:
- Go with a girl: This is a great date movie, and the love scenes are genuinely tender and beautifully shot. Your date will think you're sensitive, secure in your sexuality and she may even be aroused by the sweet man-on-man action. Note: if she says she's turned on, do not say, "Me too."
- Do not ask your best male friend to go: The implied innuendo could have devastating effects on your friendship. It's like asking him to go to the gay bar just to "see what it's like."
- If you run into one of your friends in the cinema: Pepper him with phrases like "Fantastic cinematography," and "I felt the visual metaphor of the closet closing at the end had a certain finality to it." Also try to slip in any kind of reference to Michelle Williams' or Anne Hathaway's breasts. Then ask him why he's alone.
- Do not wear a cowboy hat: Not even those wicker Mexican ones that say "Mazatlan" on them.
- Relax and enjoy the film: This is an excellent piece of moviemaking. Besides, it's not like you're going to watch it, suddenly realize you're gay and that you and your best friend's relationship has all the makings of a gay cowboy movie. Right, partner?
No comments:
Post a Comment